Things We Do
by whisperingmist
Summary: Ulquiorra's favorite color is pink. Orihime wonders why. A series of drabbles and one shots involving Ulquiorra and Orihime.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello people. This is my first Ulquihime attempt. This is going to be a series of drabbles and one shots. It's a writing exercise so there may be few things that look odd.**

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**Title: **In which Orihime speculates about Ulquiorra's favorite color.

**Prompt: **Pink

**Warnings: **Dialogue drabble.

**Rating: **K

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"Ulquiorra-kun? What is your favorite color?"

"Pink."

"... Pink? Oh. Oooh. Pink."

"Hmm."

"Why are you looking at me like that, woman?"

"..."

"Woman."

"You must really miss her, Ulquiorra-san!"

"Why have you changed my form of address, woman?"

"Focus, Ulquiorra-san! Do you miss her? Of course you do what a silly question! Dumb Orihime-chan! Oh God, is that why you're sad? Is she okay? Last time I saw her she was pretty beaten up so-"

"Woman. _Orihime. _What are blubbering about? "

"Loly-chan! You miss her don't you?"

"..."

"Ulquiorra-san? "

"Why would I miss that trash?"

"Your favorite color is her eye color! Were you having some sort of secret Arrancar romance? Oooh! I bet that's why she was upset with me! I mean I took up so much of your time! Oh, poor Loly-chan! I wish I-"

_"_Silly woman. I like pink because it reminds me of you."

"~Ehhh!"

" Pink can be annoying. It can be irritating and immature. It can also be beautiful and.. happy. It's a happy color. It's why I think it reminds me of you."

"Oh."

"No love story for this explanation?"

"Ulquiorra-kun! "

"Do not fret woman. I was merely practicing my sarcasm."

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**So that's it people. I just wanted to see if I could convey what they feel only thru dialogue. Tell me if I did it right or if anyone was OOC and the whole thing sucked. **


	2. Chapter 2

**So. I'm back with another chapter. Don't expect such fast updates in the future. I'm only doing this because my muse exploded after reading a few fantastic fanfics. Also, to people who read my other story, Alexithymia, I'll update the next chapter by the end of February. Definitely. I hope so.**

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**Title: **In which Orihime complains about exams.

**Prompt: **Exams

**Rating: **K+

**Warnings: **Nothing much, it's short and dialogue heavy.

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Orihime banged herself against her study desk. If only studying were as easy as making red bean paste, mustard and cinnamon cookies!

She felt a pair of eyes on her. She turned to see Ulquiorra's green eyes watching her with a look of slight amusement. (Not that anyone other than Orihime could even _remotely _guess at his moods.) Of course it'd be funny for him!

If she had known studying hard at school would only end up making her study _harder _at uni she would've given up and opened a bakery.

"Oh God. Why did I even study so hard for this in school?"

"You did not. You spent half your time loitering between worlds and battling unsuspecting people."

Orihime looked indignant. "I did _not._"

His amusement grew. "Ah yes. _You_ did not. You just stood behind your _Kurosaki-kun _making noises even trash would be ashamed of."

She looked hurt.

"I'm just teasing, woman."

She perked up like those puppies she wanted to buy.

( He had refused. Looking after one creature was difficult enough.)

"You are lucky I've such a thick skin, Ulquiorra-kun!"

"Not as strong as my Hierro, I presume."

"You don't have Hierro now. So my skin is thicker, hah! So there! " This dubious proclamation was followed by a flash of pink tongue.

"Where?"

"Stop teasing me, Ulquiorra-kun!"

"So you've learned to recognise my tactics."

"Of course I did," She looked absurdly proud.

"Well then, I suppose I should change them."

"You should."

"Hmm. I will."

A beat of silence. Then-

"Why are you so close, Ulquiorra-kun?"

"Changing tactics, woman."

* * *

"You know Tatsuki-chan, I never knew I was so sensitive until Ulquiorra-kun came to live with me!"

Tatsuki choked on her milkshake.

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**He ****tickled her. :P Next chapter, rating may change to T. The prompt is **_**Kabe-don. **_**:D So you can guess at the rating change. Also, thanks to the three guest reviewers :-D and the follow!**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own. If I did Ulquihime would be canon. Not that it already isn't. Yes. Well. The disclaimer. I don't own. Don't sue.**

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**Title: **In which Ulquiorra learns about forced violation.

**Prompt: **Kabe-don

**Rating: **A mild T, just for the mentions of few suggestive themes.

**Warnings: **The usual.

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**For those of you that do not know what Kabe-don is,****"kabe-don" means pinning someone (usually female) up against a wall so that they cannot escape, when a, typically male, character wants to converse intimately with the object of his affection. The term comes from the word for wall ("kabe") and the sound made when you hit a hard object ("don").**

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The library was as peaceful as usual. Orihime loved the quiet serenity of the place and the musty smell of books. Though not a particularly intellectual being, it was one of her favourite places. She was rarely disturbed there, which was why it was a surprise when her daily dose of guilty pleasure was interrupted.

"Oh! Ulquiorra-kun!"

He gave her a blank stare and turned to her reading material. She blushed furiously and made to hide it from his view. It was too late, however. She could see that gleam in his eyes.

That gleam never boded well for her.

"What was that male doing to that female?"

Oh God, he was so _loud._ What would people think? She placed a finger over her lips and gave him a pleading look.

"What was he doing, woman, that warrants your blushing?"

She blushed more. He could be so _dense _sometimes. "Shh, Ulquiorra-kun! People will get the wrong idea!"

"They'll get the wrong idea if they see you looking at pictures of males forcibly violating females."

She couldn't help the horrified gasp that followed. "Ulquiorra-kun!"

"Why are you blushing woman?"

"T-T-T This is not about v-v-violation!" She could barely form the words without cringing. How could he be so impassive? "This is a shoujo manga!"

"Shoujo manga?"

"Yes! It's a type of graphic novel for girls! Don't make me sound like a pervert reading a... reading a _H manga _or something."

He noticed the change in her tone. "H manga?"

"Shh! Ulquiorra-kun!"

He frowned at the ground - even more so than usual - and looked up at her.

"Alright. If this novel is aimed at girls, I presume they like what is being published."

Orihime nodded vigorously.

"So this boy. He is forcibly invading her private space. Even though the girl is telling him not to."

She shook her head, sending strands of orange that escaped from her hairpins, flying.

"It's not force, Ulquiorra-kun! It's supposed to be romantic!"

Ulquiorra frowned, looking puzzled. "In what way, woman?"

She frowned as well. Ulquiorra had a way of making even the most basic things complicated. Now how was she supposed to explain a well known romance trope to him in a way he could understand?

A light bulb went over her head. She perked up and then immediately drooped. How _could _she explain?

"Umm. It's.. like he's taking charge or something. Like he's showing her he's sort of all man and..." She trailed off making vague gestures with her hands.

Ulquiorra looked even more puzzled.

"He's displaying his masculinity."

Orihime nodded. How like him to put into words what she couldn't explain to herself.

"To attract the female."

More nodding.

"So this is a mating ritual."

Nodding and then-

"_No_! Oh God, Ulquiorra-kun, I told you not to watch those nature shows on Discovery Channel! It's just... his way of... expressing himself."

"Of exerting dominance over a weaker being."

Oh God. He was _never _going to understand.

"No," she began patiently, "this is more like... he can... umm.. you... I.. uh! He just doesn't want her to run away or something!"

"So that he can forcibly violate her." His tone was flat.

"God! There is no forcible violation!"

He nodded thoughtfully.

"Hmm. It seems you like this."

"I d-dont!"

"Hmm."

"Don't look at me like that!"

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**So. How was it? Good? Bad? Atrocious? Lemme know! And thanks again to the follows and favorites!**

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**PLEASE READ THIS AN!**

**And other ****news****. I've three actually. ****First**** being, we crossed a hundred hits! Yay! *throws confetti* ****Second**** and more importantly, this is the month of LOVE people, lurrrvee. So I'd like you guys to give me a prompt. Anything will do and I'll write a prompt based on which one inspires me. ****Third**** and last, I've written the next drabble already, and I've the idea for two AU one shots as well. One is based on ****Cinderella**** and the other ****Love, Actually**** [the movie] Which one do you want to see first? Tell me! With that, this long ass other note comes to an end. Bye and don't forget to reply!**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Not now. Not ever.**

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**Title: **Nightmare

**Prompt: **She woke up, shivering, in the dark of the night.

**Rating: T **for violence

**Warnings: **Angst. Violence. 'cause it wouldn't be Bleach without it. No humor at all. Not one bit. And this one is _long. _I'm not even going to call it a drabble. It's more like one shot length but part of the universe we've seen so far.

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**Him**

His eyes shot open in the dark. There had been a flare of reiatsu. A flare in _her _reiatsu, to be precise.

He stared at the ceiling. So it had begun. He closed his eyes and waited for the screams.

_"No!"_

He clenched his fists. He wanted to move, so desperately wanted to _do something, _but he lay there shrouded in the dark, hating himself for his concern, hating himself for being unable to do anything about it.

He didn't know why he cared.

Nightmares were not life threatening. Sure, a few sleepless nights and the woman probably would be walking into walls, but she'd be alright. A little bruised, perhaps, but alright.

So why did he concern himself over this?

Grimmjow would have said because he 'needed peace and quiet to sleep, damnit.'

The woman would have said it was because of the heart.

But Kurosaki Ichigo... he would have known.

Ichigo would have known why he felt paralysed by her screams, yet wanting to help Inoue Orihime- the girl who had saved him from his own despair.

Ichigo would have understood. This helpless feeling of wanting to protect, yet not being strong enough- how was he supposed to ward off a bunch of nightmares?

_"No! KUROSAKI-KUN! Please no!"_

How was he to help her when it was he who was at the core of her fear?

Ichigo would have understood. But he would not have approved.

If Ichigo were in his place and he had heard the girl screaming in fear because of _him, _he would've moved out. That's just who he was.

Ulquiorra was many things Ichigo was not, but Ichigo would always be a better person. A _good _person. A selfless one.

Of course, he could not fault himself. He was an ex-hollow after all. Human or not, that fact was never going to go away- and hollows if nothing else, were very selfish creatures.

The woman was the center of his existence, his lynch pin, his reason for being.

He didn't mind being labeled selfish as long as he was not parted from her.

He did not want to go back to that colorless, senseless, purposeless, _miserable _void that was his life before Inoue Orihime. He would not leave. Not until the woman wished it.

"_ULQUIORRA! NO! Please don't! Don't kill him!"_

He sighed and closed his eyes, cursing every inch of his being.

* * *

**Her**

She was in Soul Society. Of course she was. Everything always came back to them somehow, didn't it?

She'd had this dream a thousand times, each time more vivid than the last. Each time losing one more person to this very real (_too real_) nightmare.

At first, it had been a simple errant thought that had sneaked its way in when she was cooking,

_'What if they took him?'_

Then she laughed to herself. _'Why would they? It's not he has given them any reason to-'_

She froze. It was not like they _needed_ a reason to.

Orihime was not stupid. In fact, she was quite far from it. Being consistently ranked among the top five of her class had to account for _something. _

She knew what was dangerous and what was not. She knew how much she could get away with by smiling at her adversaries. She also knew that harboring an ex-hollow, an ex-Espada to be precise, was as dangerous as it could get.

Orihime liked to think that despite her constantly sunny demeanor, she understood the sobering realities of life. The fact that she could smile at all, despite being forced to grow up too soon and too fast, was a mark of her strength. At least that's what she liked to tell herself whenever insecurities threatened to overwhelm her and her conscience ached that she could do nothing but stand in the sidelines.

She could accept a lot of things about herself. The fact that she was not suited for battle, the fact that she constantly needed help, the fact that she could not even stand in the sidelines when the reiatsu involved in the fights was too high.

She knew she was an eccentric cook and that people thought that she had no taste buds. She knew she was not as smart as Ishida-kun or Ulquiorra-kun and she had to work constantly to even retain her previous position at school.

She did not care about any of those things. That's what made her _her _after all. That was her essence.

But losing Ulquiorra to a senseless bureaucracy blinded by prejudices...

_That _was something she would not accept.

It was this _thought, _this single resolution that had probably given her stray thought a hideous face.

After all, it was inevitable. Where she went, her friends followed. Where they went, she went too. If they had requested it of her, she would die for them. And if she needed it, they would do the same for her in a heartbeat.

(They had never forgived Soul Society for condemning Rukia to death so fast, after all.)

So in its own twisted way, this nightmare made sense.

She walked the familiar path in Sereitei, knowing where she must go in order for the dream to truly begin.

At this point, she just wanted to get this over with.

Oh she had tried waking up so many times, she'd lost count. It was as if she were bound by Kido - her body simply would not move. She thought maybe her subconscious was trying to impress upon her the world of hurt she was setting herself up for.

She walked quickly; her legs moving as if they had a mind of their own. The distinct clanging of swords reached her, spurring her to move faster.

Did it mean it had already started?

_No. It could not, it would not, nonononononopleaseno this wasn't how it was supposed to go she should be there she should be there it was too early why had it started?!_

She broke out into a run. She ran like her life depended on it. Like _his _life depended on it.

On reaching her destination, out of breath and completely winded, it took her a minute to process what she was seeing. Then her legs gave out underneath her.

Perhaps_, _she thought as she stared at the carnage, this was her punishment for all those times she had impinged on God's own territory. Perhaps this was the price to be paid for all those lives.

After all the good things never came free.

Half of Gotei 13's shinigami lay slaughtered. She mourned for all those nameless shinigami, those casualties of war that nobody would care about, not when their eyes were on the prize.

Kurosaki-kun was fighting Komamura-san.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, give up this madness. Surrender the hollow and you and friends can return unharmed."

Kurosaki-kun scowled. "Like hell I will! He's not a hollow anymore, he's human! Why are you doing this Komamura-san? I thought you of all people knew how it felt to be judged just because you were a little different."

"I had hoped it wouldn't come to this. Know that I regret cutting you down and if only you had cooperated, things would have gone differently. BANKAI!"

Elsewhere, Renji-kun was pleading with his Captain. "Kuchiki-taichou, please listen to me. Ulquiorra is... He's harmless! Don't just blindly listen to orders! This is like Rukia all over again!"

Byakuya Kuchiki gave his lieutenant a look of supreme disdain.

"You dare compare a hollow beast with a member of the Kuchiki clan?"

Renji gave a demented laugh. "Half of Soul Society is dying and all you care about is your clan? Taichou, I implore you to see reason. He's a human! He can't lift a dumb bell without dropping it on his own feet!"

"What makes me curious, Abarai Renji, is why you've allied with the hollow creature. Did you not swear to protect Sereitei?"

"It's not- you wouldn't understand anyway!"

Byakuya Kuchiki dropped his sword, tip facing downward.

"Very well. It matters not. I told you once that the monkey could never hope to reach the moon. That has not changed. _You _have not changed. I will destroy you myself. _Senbonzakura Kageyoshi._"

It was worse than Soul Society, worse than Hueco Mundo. Far worse. Those times, Orihime felt guilty for being useless, for dragging her friends into trouble. This time she didn't. She _couldn't. _

She didn't even pause to stare at the black haired girl who came to Ishida-kun's rescue in his fight against someone who looked like Hisagi-kun, not when Kuchiki-san effortlessly brought down a man with sunglasses, not when Grimmjow-kun laughed as he brought down a huge hulking man wearing lots of jewelery.

They had a lot of people on their side, all of the Vizards had defected and even some of the Captains were only fighting defensively. Orihime knew for a fact that despite all of his fancy words, Byakuya-san's cherry blossom zanpakuto had yet to hit Renji-kun.

It was still not enough. So many had died, most of them caught in the crossfire. She ran, searching for that familiar head of jet black hair.

Ulquiorra-kun wasn't a powerful bat hollow who could take down people with his mere reiatsu. He was a human, a regular human, more fragile than her. She had to find him before the others. She needed to protect him. Lungs burning and fire flowing through her veins, she ran.

In the end, of all the people who had to bring a stop to this madness, it had to be Toshiro-kun. Toshiro-kun, who knew Ulquiorra-kun personally. Toshiro-kun, who knew just how much progress Ulquiorra-kun had been making. The betrayal felt like a bee sting compared to knife in her chest as she witnessed Ulquiorra-kun being killed in front of her, once again.

Her throat burned as she watched him sink to the ground, almost gracefully, his eyes on hers the whole time.

He did not scream. There was not even a slight widening of eyes, the way they did when something caught him off guard. How like Ulquiorra-kun to be unassuming even in death.

Someone was screaming.

_"ULQUIORRA! NO! Please don't! Don't kill him!" _

She felt the faint stirrings of surprise in her heart. She had no idea anybody other than her cared for Ulquiorra-kun.

_"_My, my. What a specimen wasted. I wonder if the Captain-Commander will let me play with the body."

The words jolted her out of her trance.

Ulquiorra-kun was not a body. Not when she was alive.

She was going to bring him back.

"Souten Kisshun, I rej-"

She coughed up blood.

"Nigeki Kessatsu. Death in two steps. I'm sorry, Inoue Orihime, but the hollow had to be put down."

Soi Fon. She looked down at herself.

Put down. Like he was some sort of animal. He was more civilised than these people could ever hope to be. Not that they realised it. They were probably mentally congratulating themselves on a job well down, killing a pathetic human girl and a defenseless man.

So she was dying. The realisation shocked her very little. She hoped she'd go where he'd go. Atleast they'd escape this awful place with all of its stupid prejudices and they could begin anew. She had brought them into this trouble, she would get them out. Atleast nobody else was going to di-

"INOUE!"

"Kuro..saki...kun."

She watched with horrified eyes as Ichigo lost control of his powers as the familiar roar of the hollow within him filled the air. His hair lengthened and... God was that his reiatsu?

The last words she heard were, "Bankai. Ryujjin Jakka."

The world exploded in a haze of flame and heat.

She woke up, shivering, in the dark of the night. A dream. Her stupid nightmare. She stood up on shaky legs and walked to the living room.

She stared at the peaceful form sleeping on the couch.

"Good night, Ulquiorra-kun."

She turned to her bedroom hoping she could find sleep again.

* * *

**Okay! Author license stuff- I know Orihime probably would not know much about Yama-ji's Bankai or Soi Fon's techniques. I imagine someone told her. Probably Yoruichi about her student's progress or something. Which is why she lies there, dying for ages coming to all those revelations instead of going **_**poof **_**like Ggio Vega. This is her subconscious and that's how Orihime imagines it. **

**Yama-ji's Bankai, hmm think Ichigo told her, all awed about that 'old man's awesome powers'. So she just assumed his Bankai would be super powerful. Not that she's wrong. **

**As for how the hell is Grimmjow fighting, that's a story for another time. Everything else, well ask 'em in your reviews! There's a reason why I wrote it I'm sure!**

**Also, it's 1:40 am here, so please excuse any mistakes!**

** That's all people. Peace out. Don't forget to leave a review!**

**Edited to correct a few mistakes. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.**

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**Title: **In which Orihime talks about her crush.

**Prompt: **Crush

**Rating: **T for suggestive themes and a drunk Rangiku.

**Warnings: **Nothing much, I suppose.

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"So Ori-hi-me-chaaan! Ready for your question?"

Orihime blushed wildly. Why she had agreed to a Truth or Dare session with Rangiku Matsumoto of all people, she would never know. She supposed she could blame the spiked fruit juice. Not that she'd known it was spiked when she'd drunk it. In retrospect, she should've been suspicious when Renji and Rangiku began giggling like school children as soon as her lips touched the glass.

"Orihime-chan!"

She came down to reality with a jarring thud. Her very precarious reality, she realised.

They were camped out in her place, to keep her company when Ulquiorra visited Soul Society. That's what they _said, _atleast. Orihime was pretty sure it was just to dump all their illegal alcohol in one place without spending a dime.

Renji and Rukia were sitting on Ulquiorra's couch bed, Toshiro was on the table (he claimed that _someone_ needed to supervise them), Ikkaku, Yumichika, Tatsuki, Rangiku and Orihime were on the floor.

And now they were playing Truth or Dare. Which never ended well.

For anyone.

She supposed she should be glad they weren't playing 7 Minutes in Heaven or something.

She shuddered at the thought of being locked in a closet with Renji. Or God forbid, Ikkaku.

"You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable, Orihime. And you guys! Don't pressure her, alright?"

She looked at Tatsuki's concerned face. "It'll be alright, Tatsuki-chan! We will face our battles valiantly and die defending our territory!" She said with her fist up in the air.

Tatsuki gave her a small smile. "Yes." She bumped her fist with Orihime.

"So now that you've all deigned to pay attention," Rangiku sounded distinctly annoyed, before her tone morphed into something devious, "Who's your current crush?"

Orihime blushed. She knew this was a bad idea! Rangiku-san _knew _who her crush was, why would she-

"Orihime?"

"Umm," she blushed again, staring around the room taking in its occupants. Renji was looking at her curiously. She shook her head wildly, mumbling, "No crush."

Rangiku looked startled. "No one?"

"Not at the moment," she told them even as her face burned with the lie. She blushed some more before she completely gave up and covered her face with her hands.

"Are you lying, Orihime?" Rukia sounded amused. Oh God, if she was to hear about her crush, she'd tell Kurosaki-kun and he'd get to know and-

"Alright people. That's enough. No means no. Back off."

She sent Tatsuki mental waves of gratitude.

"But with that handsome hunk rooming at your place, I thou-"

Orihime looked up at Rangiku incredulously, forgetting to be embarrassed in her surprise.

"_What?"_

"What? He's hot, isn't he? I mean, he's not Shuuhei hot or Kuchiki-taichou hot-"

"_Rangiku!"_

Rangiku ignored Rukia's indignant protest as she rambled on, "-but in a brooding, male model kind of way, he _is _hot. Definitely hot. Don't tell me, you haven't _noticed_?"

Orihime's eyes widened.

There was a beat of silence in which everyone stared at her with bated breath wondering if she would acknowledge some secret crush, waiting for the realisation to kick in-

She laughed.

Now it was every one else's turn to stare at her wide eyed.

"Ulquiorra-kun!" She laughed some more, "I've never seen him that way! Maybe he's pleasing to look at-" Rangiku raised an eyebrow at the distinctly impersonal adjective, that did not convey any sort of red-hot, molten passion at all, "-but he's Ulquiorra-kun!"

Everyone stared at her blankly.

"Is this because he was a hollow?" Toshiro blurted. He was curious of the dynamics between the two and often wondered what endeared the dispassionate former Espada to the sweet girl in front of him.

Orihime looked indignant. "No it's not! That has nothing to do with anything. There should be a spark, Toshiro-kun! I mean I've seen him shirtless-" she shrugged carelessly, as everyone around her gasped, "and not felt anything at all. He's just not my type. He's like.. like a brother to me."

Rangiku nodded sagely.

"Ah yes. Not your type. That can be problematic. I suppose your type is a certain spiky haired shinigami?"

Orihime was mortified. "Rangiku-san!"

Rangiku grinned at her unrepentantly. Renji looked appalled. "You mean you've got a crush on Hisagi?"

"Renji-kun, no!"

"Denial is a river in Egypt, Orihime-chan."

"Yumichika-san, no! I've never even seen him properly!"

"Oooohhhhhh! Seen him how, Orihime?"

"RANGIKU-SAN!"

* * *

**Don't worry she won't be seeing him as a **_**brother **_**for long. ;-)**

**I quickly did this because I thought you guys would suffer from all that wangst of the previous chapter but you guys **_**blew **_**me away with responses to the previous chapter. Apparently people like good ol' fashioned Angst. Who'da thunk it?**

**People keep asking me to write AUs where they're human. I've some ideas, I'm in the process of writing one, but it's difficult maneuver human!Ulquiorra. Atleast a non former Espada human!Ulquiorra. I've this idea for an Itazura na kiss type thing for these two, cause Ulquiorra would **_**rock **_**that aloof character. So, thoughts?**

**EDIT - so sorry for all you people who got alerts! Ffnet decided to delete my update w/o any warning! I've no idea what's wrong, so I reupdated. Such a pain. Sorry guys! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Bleach**, **I disclaim! [Wanted to try it out like Orihime, I reject!]

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Maybe OOC, **AU AH (all human),** swearing, kissing.

* * *

Ulquiorra sighed as he took in the long line. This was going to take ages.

Suppressing another sigh, he turned to leave, deciding to concede defeat. No bet was worth this much indignity. Perhaps he could tell Grimmjow that the terms had changed. If he threw in a few technical words, Grimmjow was bound to tune him out and he wouldn't have to lose face because of such a lame bet.

That's when he heard the sound. Pattering footsteps. Someone was running. Fast approaching him, most probably.

Before he could even register what was happening, a masked man had pulled him aside, pushed off his mask and began kissing him in earnest.

Had Ulquiorra been a lesser person, he would've said his mind melted, but being that he was Ulquiorra, he was merely shocked beyond words. He stood rooted to the spot for a few seconds before he realised that he was pressed against a rather warm, soft, _female _body. So the masked man was not a man after all. Hm. How odd.

With each passing moment, he only became more than aware of the feminine curves pressing insistently against his body.

He broke apart from the seductress.

The first thing he noticed about her was her hair. She'd removed the head gear that'd covered up that beautiful hair and now, sunset orange hair floated down her back.

He almost reached for it when he heard a cry.

"He went this way, didn't he?"

Again, before he was given a chance to process the significance of those words, the girl pulled him in.

Now that he had seen her face and could attest for the fact that she was _very_ much female and very much a knockout, Ulquiorra had no qualms about kissing her back.

If she was so determined to make him forget whatever he was thinking, he was only eager to comply to her wishes.

He ravished her mouth.

Suffice to say, it was the best kiss of his life. Or maybe it was the adrenaline talking.

They broke apart with a gasp.

The girl, (she couldn't be older than 19) looked pleasantly tousled.

Her face was flushed, her hair all messed up and her lips looked swollen and so very red, he was tempted to kiss her again.

He felt a surge of male pride in him, that he was the one who did that to such a pretty girl. He felt slightly surprised at the... chauvinism of such a thought. He had never thought of himself as a slave to his base desires, but perhaps he'd never found the right girl.

She gave him a slight smile. "Umm, there may have been a slight.. mix-up. Uh, I'll.. see you again?"

He gave her a slight nod, still fascinated by her every move. She raised her hand in a half wave and walked away from him.

He felt like a drowning man as he watched her sway those alluring hips while walking away from him.

Lost in his thoughts, he hardly noticed when Grimmjow yelled in his ear.

"GOT THE TICKETS, ASSHOLE!"

He winced. "Damnit Grimmjow, could you be any more louder?"

Grimmjow gave him a cocky smirk. "Pay up, dickhead. I _won._"

He shook his head at the other man's competitive attitude and reached a hand into his pocket -

\- only to pull out a piece of paper.

"Inoue Orihime. Call me if you can find my number."

Grimmjow let out a startled laugh as he read what was written on the paper in Ulquiorra'a hand. "Looks like you've been played, loser! She stole your wallet! Don't tell me it was that chick you were sucking face with! Can't imagine how good you kissed if she was writing notes behind your back!"

He gave another guffaw.

Ulquiorra ignored the buffoon. He was occupied with recalling and analysing the woman's every move. He almost smiled as he remembered the shy, sweet smile she'd given him.

"What an interesting woman."

* * *

**Prompt: **Steal

**Title: **In which Ulquiorra gets robbed.

* * *

**How'd you like it people? Review!**


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